Daruma Egg
by ukulelemad
Summary: ONE SHOTT! Ise Nanao and Kyouraku Shunsui. This is my first FanFic. I wrote it a little 'differently'. Some crack, but tis cute & funny! Please R&R. feat: Rangiku,SoiFong,Yachiru,Juushiro,Yamamoto,etc. Enjoy XD


Disclaimer: I love, but do not own Bleach  
This was a OneShot! I had fun writing it! Please R&R and coments about constructive criticism are much appreciated (unless it has anything to do with spelling. It is a character flaw. I hope all the names are right though, I mean no disrespect.)  
XD

* * *

"Kyouraku-Taicho!"

SMACK!

"Ouch! Nanao-chan, it was an accident!"

"I can hardly fathom how your pinching me inappropriately was in any way an accident."

"…There was a bee?"

"Try again, Taicho."

"But my lovely Nanao-chan, how could I possibly resist your very essence? That sweet allure that dizzies my mind and pulls what beating heart I have left from your capture and –"

"– Taicho! It is almost midnight and I only have a few more spots to sweep and papers to sign! Is it too hard to request that you refrain from any of your …antics?"

"But what else am I to do or think of?"

"I'm sure you can come up with something else."

"But –" 

"– …"

"Never mind Nanao-chan."

………………………………………………………

"I'm finished. Kyouraku-Taicho, I will see you tomorrow morn- I mean afternoon. … What are you doing?"

"I'm opening the door for you Nanao-chan. What does it look like?"

"It looks like you either really have to pee and are leaning over to lessen the pressure, or you are very much intent on stalking me and plan on taking the door down to use as a shield on your quest to do so. Either way, don't give me that smile!"

"Nanao-chan, I only stalk you on sake days, and besides this is a romantic gesture, and I lean over simply because it is more proper to bow as a lady passes by."

"…"

"What smile of mine were you referring to, Nanao-chan?"

"That one."

"The one that hopes for the sweet kiss of your lips?"

SMACK!

"The one that gets the stinging kiss of my fan! Good night, Taicho!"

…………………………………………………….

"(gasp) Taicho! Give it back!"

"What will you do if it happens to get burnt by this kido fire ball?"

"Do? I will do the same to you as you do to that document!"

"Be careful of what you promise, my intriguing Nanao-chan."

"Taicho, please, it is an _extremely_ important document that requires my careful attention and immediate –"

"Nanao-chan, every document is '_extremely_ important' –"

"Don't mock me so much!"

"I do not mock you, lovely Nnao-chan I –"

"Just there! Just now! You mock and torment me!"

"Nanao-chan, I was just indicating that you seem to care so much for these trivial pieces of paper, and that you need to relax more."

"The paper is not to what I am referring. That is only _one_ instance."

"When have I mocked you before?"

"EVERY TIME YOU–"

(GONG! GONG!)

"An emergency meeting? What's going on?"

……………………………………………………..

"Well now … it is impressive at how quickly my captains and lieutenants gather to the call of the emergency alarm… Uh, ahem, unfortunately I did not intend to ring that one… It's not my fault… They all look quite similar… You see, I have called to simply restate… that again I am well aware of all of the stress… that this betrayal of three of our former captains has caused … and that I have simple gifts I have arranged to give to all of you... It seems that the budget might be a bit low at the moment… due to the need for a new council committee … so the gifts are not extravagant… and actually come from my personal budget and attic… and there aren't too many… so they are meant to be shared between captains and lieutenants… For those of you who do not currently have a captain … share with your third seats… That is all."

…………………………………………………….

"Stop frolicking Taicho, you'll drop the box."

"I can't help it Nanao-chan, it just moved on its own."

"Now why would it do that? It's a box. If there was something living inside there would be holes for it to obtain air."

"Ah, intelligent Nanao-chan, but what if it does not need oxygen to live?"

"Then I do not want it. … Stop trying to peek inside the box, we were instructed to wait until we reached our Division."

"I can't help it, Nanao-chan. Yamamoto-sensei was so cruel to us by speaking so slowly, taking up so much time, and putting me into a standing sleep again."

…………………………………………………….

"What is it?"

"…I'm not quite sure. I haven't seen something like this in a while. I cannot recall what it is. Let me consult the book where I think I last saw it."

"You remember the book but not the object, Nanao-chan?"

"I remember almost all of my books and the types of information they contain."

"Ah, one of the things I admire most about my delightful Nanao-chan. … It's so pretty. I have always admired the color of pink. And it matches my haori almost perfectly!"

"What a relief, Taicho."

"Somehow you don't sound so convincing Nanao-chan."

"… Ah! Here it is! … It says that naturally it has no color but it can change in order to match its possessor."

"What else does the book say about this little egg thingy?"

"It's called a Daruma Egg."

"I thought that they were supposed to be dolls? You get one wish with them if you paint in one of its eyes, and then the other gets filled in once the wish is complete. But there are no eyes to fill in here; it's just a pink egg."

"It's an extremely older version only usable in the soul society. It says here that it grants infinite amounts of wishes, but not directly –"

"– Now what does that mean?"

"It means, Taicho, that it has a spirit of its own, and does things to _help_ make wishes come true, as opposed to simply granting them. Apparently it can also take to having many different shapes when it so pleases, which would explain the movement in the box."

"So you did believe me that it moved!"

"Of course, Taicho."

"So what kind of things does it do?"

"The book doesn't say any more."

"Alright! Let's get this thing working! … hmm… what do I wish for?"

…………………………………………………….

"Did you get it to work, Taicho?"

"Nothing happened yet. It swirled its color around once earlier, but that's all. I think it's broken."

"Don't look so depressed, I'm sure it will do something soon. Thank you, by the way."

"For what, my lovely Nanao-chan?"

"For the indigo Iris flower you left on my desk for me to find this morning. They're my favorite."

"… Anything for my lovely Nanao-chan."

…………………………………………………….

"Juushiro-chan! I have a problem! NO! An emergency!"

"I am truly sorry, Shun-san, but we finished off the last of my sake collection yesterday when we watched Kukaku-san test some of her fireworks for the parade tomorrow."

"Aw, what? Wait, no! That's not what my problem is!"

"If it's not sake, it's a woman, and if it's a woman, it's Nanao-san."

"Indeed! Someone is trying to take her from me!"

"I'm sorry to remind you that she isn't exactly yours to begin with."

"Is it YOU?"

"Ha ha ha! (cough, cough, cough) … No, my dear friend, it is not I. But tell me, what's the real issue here?"

"The issue is that someone left her favorite type of flower on her desk, and is trying to win her heart. I don't think I could bear to see that happen. I would have to squish the actual heart of the man doing so… or woman… hmm two women, one being my Nanao-chan…"

"Shunsui?"

"Huh? Oh yes! What am I supposed to do? I told her that I was the one who left them there."

"I would not worry too much for now, Shunsui. Perhaps you were drunk and don't remember putting them there yourself. Try not to get upset, until you know for sure that there is something to get upset about."

"I suppose you're right, as usual."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. I was just wondering what your gift was?"

"Oh. That. Well it's some sort of puzzle type thing. It has to do with getting all of the same colors on their own side of a cube or something. Kiyone and Sentarou are busy trying to solve it."

"Sounds like something you throw after a good five minutes."

"Well it is making them actually work together for once. I should probably be grateful for it."

………………………………………………………

"Ran-san, what is that?"

"(gasp) He's not a 'that' he is a 'he,' and you're hurting _his_ feelings!"

"I wasn't referring to the adorable dog, about which I am fully aware; I was inquiring about what that thing is around its poor neck."

"Oh! It's a charm collar with blue and pink ribbons. Pink, of course you know is one of my favorite colors, and then Hitsu-Taicho insisted that he look manlier, so I gave him some of the blue as well."

"Well as cute as this guy is, a dog is like a child and will be a huge responsibility. Was the dog your gift?"

"No. The collar was. Yamamoto-san found out that I bought him and insisted that his gift would be paying for the collar. I hear your gift was something from lifetimes ago, Nan. It must have been one of the ones from his 'attic.'"

"Hai, well I wouldn't know. Kyouraku-Taicho has been holding on to the thing for a day now. He doesn't want me to get hurt from it in any way since we are not quite sure of what it is capable."

"Oh how sweet!"

"Is that the word for it?"

"Nanao! You know you adore every little thing about him, so why not adore how he adores you?"

"Rangiku! Because he doesn't 'adore' me. He adores teasing me."

"How many times do we have to go over this? He is completely crazy for you and you are crazy for him and together you will make crazy little –"

"OH MY GOSH! Rangiku if you have any control over your sanity you will not finish that sentence!"

"What? I was going to say 'babies.'"

"Ran! Wait, what were you thinking I was thinking of just then?"

"Bark!" (The dog speaking, not Rangiku)

"Oh, yaayyyy! Hitsu-san must be back from his lunch break!"

"I'd better head back to my office. I'll see you later at the Shinigami Women's Association, Ran!"

"Hai, so we can finish our never ending discussion."

……………………………………………………...

"Nanao-fukutaicho! Wait!"

"Soi Fong-taicho?"

"You dropped this on your way out."

"…I'm very sorry to contradict, but this isn't mine. You said _I_ dropped this?"

"It fell from your pocket just now after our Women's meeting."

"My pocket? … Forgive me, Soi Fong-taicho, I should be expressing my gratitude to you. Actually I think this belongs to my captain."

"Ha ha, did you confiscate it from him for something he no doubt did wrong or insulting?"

"I do not recall. Arigato. … By the way, I love that sketch under your arm; a cat with the wings of a bee."

"Oh this? Arigato. My gift was a whole set of sketch paper and colored inks."

………………………………………………………

"Nanao-chan! You found my hair tie with the flowers! It was there when I fell asleep under the tree, and then gone when I woke up."

"Hai… Taicho, what exactly have you been wishing for from that Daruma egg?"

"Yare, yare Nanao-chan. I can't tell you because that would risk it not coming true. Why do you ask? Is it working?"

"Well I wouldn't know if it is working or not due to the fact that I don't exactly know what it is that's supposed to work. It's just that strange things have been happening to me all day today."

"What things?"

"The lovely flower surprise on my desk, the new and absolutely ridiculous hat of Nemu-san's that she almost made me try on, the pink bird that nearly took my head off near the Third Division, and now finding this hair tie when I don't recall ever even touching it before."

"Has my lovely Nanao-chan been sampling my secret supply of sake?"

"I do not drink, Taicho."

"Well not that you are aware of. Sometimes I store my sake in iced tea bottles so as to be slightly more discrete."

"…"

"Nanao-chan?"

"(sigh) Am I to understand that –"

POOF!

(In unison) "AAAAAAAAAHHHH! EEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!"

"Stand back Nanao! I'll protect you!"

"Wait, wait! Flower-san, don't attack! It's meee!"

"What the –?"

"It's me, Yachiru-kun, silly! Hi there Nanao-kun!"

"(sigh) Kyouraku-taicho, you can kindly let go of me now. Yachiru-san, f-first of all, what is that thing engulfing your face, and second, where did you come from?"

"Oh this? Meh, it was our gift. I wanted my candies. Ken-chan says this is better. It's too big for me though. It's a … it's a… well it's some sort of tribal masky thingy. It can teleport you wherever you want to go!"

"It's grimacing at us."

"Nanao-chan, it's a useful artifact that could be a lot of fun to explore."

"You would no doubt find it useful, Taicho. What made you think of popping in for a visit Yachiru-san?"

"A butterfly told me to."

"… Care to elaborate?"

"A little pink butterfly flew in through my bedroom window and told me to spread my love and happiness to you Nanao-kun, so … here I am!"

"…"

"Oh how deligh –"

"– Taicho! A moment please!"

"Why certainly! Would you excuse us, Yachiru-san? Say 'hi' to your Taicho for us, would you?"

"Mmkay! Bies!"

POOF!

"Taicho –"

"– Ouch, Nanao-chan –"

"– Kyouraku-taicho, where is that egg?"

"It's here in my – oh, look at that – it's over on my desk."

"What have you been wishing for, Taicho?"

"But I cannot tell you."

"Well whatever it is, it's driving me crazy and I need you to make it stop."

"I can't do that."

"And why, may I ask, not?"

"Because, Nanao-chan… because I wished that you would think of me as much as I think of you."

"But I already think – Taicho, I already _have_ to think of you every day when I need to make sure that you haven't gotten into any trouble or even died from a sake overdose, which I have discovered is almost quite impossible despite appearances. On the slight chance that I happen to have a moment of clarity, a moment not imagining you, something pink or ridiculous now attacks me."

"But Nanao-chan, I think of you every moment of every day."

"Why, Taicho? Why me? And why do wish for me to suffer?"

"I have never wanted you to suffer in any way, Nanao."

"Don't call me that!"

"But it is your name. I thought you hated it when I call you Nanao-chan. Does my Nanao-chan lie and actually like the way I address her?"

"I – t-that's – Taicho, I can't tell if you are either serious or mad when you address me in any way other than your usual demeanor."

"How do I make you suffer? I could not bear to live if I caused you suffering, and I could never be mad at you. I wish you would see that."

(The window turns to glass, and in it their reflection)

"You flirt with me everyday and tease my need to be proper, which is my only hope of withstanding the affects you have on me. It wouldn't bother me if I hadn't always wanted you to be serious. I wish you cold feel how I do when it hurts me!"

(The sound of exploding fireworks bursts open the door and a nighttime breeze overwhelms the burning fire, bringing a chilly darkness to half of the room)

"You reject my every confession, and insult my true heart. I have never looked upon another woman since my loyal eyes looked upon yours. I think of you every moment because it gives me complete bliss, and without the thought of you, I am broken. I wish you could understand the damage of your rejections, but how the image of you alone can always cure me."

(An explosion comes too close to the window and billions of shards of glass, shimmering indigo and pink, delicately dance across the room like the petals of flowers)

"I wish you weren't drunk right now."

(A piece of the glass rips his haori, revealing an unopened sake bottle)

"I wish you wouldn't cry, Nanao."

(she walks forward pressing her face against the haori across his chest, wiping the tears away. She looks up at his sincere face.)

"I am scared, but I love you, Kyouraku."

(His arms wrap around her, filling her with the secure warmth she has always craved. His hand draws her face closer to his, and he tells her that he is hers, which completes the part of her she always thought was missing.)

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END! Thanks for readin! XD I hope you like!


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